Everything is interconnected.

Do the things you’ve always wanted to do idea, because someday when you look back, you can’t afford saying ‘I could have been a..’ as for me, a doctor, keeps boggling my mind.

I want to stop wondering what if, I want to know what is.

An oh yes, this nerve cracking idea, wanting to enter med school is striking again, thrice. First was in high school, second was around second year college, and third, obviously, these past few weeks.

I’m happy that I already earned my diploma, but I feel like it isn’t enough. Being a food technologist is alright, and entering the Research and Development field at 20 in a fair good company, holding a range of branded products visible in the market is already an achievement. No contest about that, other people as my age don’t have a job, or not even thinking what career they want to start with because they took their courses by chance and not by choice. And take note, when I filled-up my UPCAT form, I had no slightest idea of what food technology is. And during college, I’ve always wondered what researchers work hard for to earn a living. I thought thesis-like experiments will define what the job is all about, but I was wrong.

It feels good developing products and holding projects. I thinks it feels better launching one and seeing consumers buy them. ‘Cause they trust in what you had developed, though I haven’t launched one. haha. :) I’ll be a regular employee on Feb, I got a good boss and partner, nothing to ask for in terms of working environment.

And back to med school, I’ve been thinking and weighing the pros and cons. One of my principles is when I’m in doubt, I throw it out. When you really want something, you don’t have to think twice. But that necessarily means you’re not gonna try.

But man, this matter is different. I’ve been to crossroads, but this is different. I wanted to take the path of being a doctor, because I want to. There should be no justifications to be asked about that. Actually the risk is not that much in terms of job opportunities because food technology is a good fall back course. Yes, my undergrad course has safe-playing purposes. I can always apply in companies and being a researcher is a fair enough career I can grow old with.

In med school, in four years time, I’m heading for being an MD. :)

In R&D, in four years time, my ‘worth’ in the industry will greatly appreciate, because there are only a handful of technical people, knowing trade secrets, who can go to and fro of big companies like Magnolia, Del Monte, etc.

Considering the financial stability, I can make ends meet. My family is able but the guilt of being a burden again is still here. When I told my father again about this, the first sentence he told me was “Ikaw talaga, wala kang kasiyahan sa buhay.” 

Aw, I didn’t mind that. I know my father had this relief from sending his daughters to college when I graduated. And then here I go again, asking for a long term and more expensive support. But hey, my father could greatly afford that. 

But I’d be too selfish if I push something that I want yet other people would greatly sacrifice so I can achieve more. That sucks. 

But I’ll try PLM, there’s no harm in trying. Lord, grant me the blessing. I’ll take the NMAT and apply for MCAT for school year 2013-2014 or try to enroll in other med schools this 2012-2013.

I told my father, this will be our last battle, but it will take longer and harder.